I was waiting in the school pick up line, when I got an unexpected email from Caleb's teacher. She wanted to inform me of an incident that occurred during school. Some boys in Caleb's class were teasing him and calling him weird :( He was so upset and started roaring like a dinosaur! His teacher could hear him down the hall in the classroom! She found out what had happened and made all of the boys apologize to Caleb.
As I read this email from his teacher, my heart was breaking in the car! This is another "learn as I go parenting moment!" I frantically tried to prepare what I would say to Caleb. Thankfully Natalie and Joy answered when I called , and gave me some good advice!
When Caleb got in the car, he told me he was going to read the letters from some of the boys in his class. His teacher made the boys all write notes to apologize. He told me that the boys in his class thought he was weird. I asked him what weird meant and he answered strange. I told him I thought that weird meant unique or different, and it's a good thing to be different. If everyone was exactly the same, that would be pretty boring! I told him that he's not strange, and he's actually really amazing! I said that we teach him to be kind to everyone, and it's sad that some other kids don't understand that.
I then asked him why he thought the kids thought he was weird, and he said because of how much he loves dinosaurs. I told him that there's nothing wrong with liking dinosaurs! We then talked about instead of roaring when he gets upset, to tell the boys to stop.
I was grateful that his teacher handled the incident well, and supported Caleb through it. A few weeks after that, while getting ready for bed, I asked Caleb if he liked the note I left in his lunch that day? He said he did, but asked that instead of writing love Mommy if I could write from Mom. I was crushed! I couldn't believe we were already at this point! When I told him that I could do that, he said "thanks Mommy!" I laughed and pointed out that I write Mommy because he still calls me Mommy! That's when he opened up and said that the same boys who were teasing him before, were teasing him at lunch and threw his lunch note on the floor!
He opened up to me and told me about other ways that the boys have been teasing. They told him that the shows he watches on Disney Jr are for babies, made fun of his Avengers boxer briefs, refuse to include him in lunchtime games, and have even told him that he couldn't sit in one of the seats at lunch because it was for the crew! I couldn't believe my ears! This sounded like high school, not first grade! I told Caleb that there was nothing wrong with the things that he likes, and that it's sad that these boys are teasing him.
Then I tried to explain confidence, and how to stand up for himself. He seemed to understand, and I told him I was so grateful that he talked to me about all of this! After he fell asleep I walked into our bedroom crying :-( It hurts so much to see him have to go through this at such a young age!
The next day I emailed his teacher and let her know what was going on. She talked to the boys and told me that this was unacceptable! She also talked to Caleb and let him know that the lunch supervisor was notified and that if any other teasing continued he should tell the lunch supervisor or his teacher. We made him aware that Erik, I, and his teacher all work together as a team to keep him safe and happy!
Since this all happened, he said that the boys have stopped the teasing, and I truly hope they have! This whole thing just made me realize how quickly he's growing up, and how I can't always protect him! We work so hard to teach him right from wrong and to be kind and loving, and then unfortunately that gets taken advantage of! Hopefully he will become more confident and be able to stick up for himself and others when teasing happens again!
